Yuugi Muto and the French trappers
by never to return
Summary: A group of French trappers are after Yuugi! Will Anzu's friendship rants be able to save him? Maybe you should read the story to find out.


Yuugi Muto and the French trappers.  
  
=)  
  
Hiroto Honda, Katsuya Jonouchi, Mizaki Anzu, and Bakura Ryou were all sitting in Burger World enjoying their food.  
  
Anzu: I sure hope no one holds me at gunpoint today.  
  
Jonouchi: Hey anything would be better than sitting here and eating this crap, I actually found a cooked rat in with my fries!  
  
Honda: It's all those two cooks faults! If they would stop goofing off and laughing we might actually get some decent food over here.  
  
[In the kitchen]  
  
Blonde haired cook: heh heh heh.  
  
Brown haired cook: huh huh huh.  
  
Blonde haired cook: heh heh heh  
  
Brown haired cook: huh huh huh  
  
(this is a Beavis and Butthead reference if you can't tell)  
  
Blonde haired cook: heh heh heh.  
  
Brown haired cook: huh huh huh.  
  
[Back to our heroes]  
  
Ryou: I know that I've seen those two somewhere before but I just can't put my finger on where.  
  
Jonouchi: I can! *puts his finger on the "where" in above sentence.  
  
Anzu: That was a horrid joke.  
  
Jonouchi: Well what do you expect? Just look who's writing this story.  
  
Ryou: Hey, has anyone seen Yuugi today?  
  
Honda: Last I saw of him he was peeking into the women's dressing rooms at the clothes shop.  
  
Just then Yuugi ran into Burger World and crashed into Anzu.  
  
Anzu: Good to see you friend!  
  
Jonouchi: So Yuugi, did you get caught peeping? Is that why you were running?  
  
Yuugi: No that's not the reason! At least not this time...  
  
Ryou: Then what's wrong?  
  
Yuugi: Well after I got finished peeping at the changing girls I decided to go and get some ice cream.  
  
Jonouchi: Naturally.  
  
Yuugi: Yeah but on the way there I started to get the feeling that someone was following me, and when I turned around there were these two big guys wearing lots of fur. They said something about wanting to skin me and take my coat.  
  
Anzu: So what did you do?  
  
Yuugi: Well I threw my jacket at them and took off running! But they still kept chasing me and singing some weird song, I think that I managed to lose them on the way here.  
  
Honda: If they already have your coat then why are they still after you?  
  
Yuugi: I really wish that I knew.  
  
Jonouchi: We should go find these guys and ask them why they have to be so mean to Yuugi.  
  
Ryou: That really doesn't sound like a very good idea to me.  
  
Anzu: That's okay because it's a good opportunity to spend time with friends!  
  
Honda: What is the deal with you and friendship?  
  
Anzu: I like to eat paint chips!  
  
All but Anzu: Oh, okay?  
  
Yuugi: Well I don't ever want to see those guys again!  
  
Jonouchi: What was really so bad about them?  
  
Yuugi: Well they were both really big and hairy, and they wore nothing but animal pelts. They spoke with heavy French accents and they rode around in a canoe. They were really creepy!  
  
Honda: Lets go kick the crap out of them!  
  
Jonouchi: And steal their wallets!  
  
Anzu: They can be our friends afterwards!  
  
Ryou: Oh this is a terrible idea.  
  
Yuugi: Then I guess that we have to do it.  
  
And with that the five left Burger World in search of these two mystery men. It sure is good that they left too, because the two cooks had just set the store on fire.  
  
Blonde haired cook: FIRE! FIRE!  
  
Brown haired cook: huh huh fire is cool.  
  
`  
  
Anyways our heroes decided to go over to the ice cream shop to see if the culprits would return to the scene of the crime, they had some ice cream while they waited too. After about five minutes they began to suspect that something was not right.  
  
Honda: I just don't get it, they should have been here by now.  
  
Ryou: Why don't you just say "they'll probablly never show up?"  
  
Jonouchi: Why would we want to say that?  
  
Ryou: Well whenever you say that something will never happen, it always seems to happen right then.  
  
Jonouchi: Well that does seem like pretty sound logic to me, so I guess that we'll have to try it.  
  
Yuugi: Ok, I guess that they won't ever be showing up here!  
  
Anzu: Now what?  
  
Ryou: I don't know, I've never done this before, I guess that we wait.  
  
So the waiting began.  
  
`  
  
[Elsewhere]  
  
In the distance strange sounds can be heard, they seem to resemble two people singing. The singing seemed to get louder with each passing second, when suddenly a canoe rounded the corner and rolled down the street. Two men were sitting in it and paddling along, all the while singing a strange song.  
  
French Trappers: We are both French trappers, those are we. We like to hunt the land and fish the sea. We'll do anything to make a buck, we have Malik locked in our truck. Because we are both French trappers, those are we.  
  
The French trappers then stopped their canoe in front of Yuugi and co.  
  
Yuugi: No their back! Save me Anzu, I'll be your friend if you do!  
  
Jonouchi: You two better get away before I get really mad! I'm not going to let you eat Yuugi, he's no escargot, or whatever food it is that you Frenchies eat nowadays!  
  
French trapper Pierre: We are not French!  
  
French trapper Fretswa: We are French Canadian!  
  
French trapper Pierre: And we do not eat snails you silly little Japanese boy with the New York accent.  
  
Jonouchi: So now your making fun of us?  
  
Anzu: Those aren't very nice things to say Mr. unusual name person.  
  
Pierre: Why are you kids acting like this? It's not like we've done anything to you.  
  
Honda: Yeah but you keep chasing Yuugi around, why do you have to do that?  
  
Fretswa: It is because we must have his hair!  
  
Yuugi: Why do you want my hair!?  
  
Pierre: So we can sell it for lots of money!  
  
Ryou: How could Yuugi's hair make you money?  
  
Fretswa: Well usually we trap businessmen and sell their suits, but the market's really fallen out of that. So instead we want to scalp Yuugi and auction his hair off on Ebay.  
  
Anzu: But have either of you ever considered how Yuugi feels about all of this?  
  
Fretswa: You know, I think that we forgot about that.  
  
Yuugi: Please don't take my hair, it's my only good quality!  
  
Pierre: Yes now that I hear it from your side I think that I understand your feelings better. But this still doesn't solve our money problem.  
  
Jonouchi: Well I think that I just may have a solution to all of our problems...  
  
`  
  
[At Duelist Kingdom]  
  
In his castle, Pegasus J Crawford can be seen sipping wine and watching cartoons.  
  
Pegasus: Oh Funny Bunny you make me laugh so much that I forget about my dead wife and how I want to kill myself.  
  
Just then the doors flew open and two men in a canoe rode up to Pegasus!  
  
Fretswa: Alright Pierre, knock him out!  
  
So Pierre whacked Pegasus over the head with a large club.  
  
Fretswa: And now lets skin him!  
  
Pierre: Lets take his suit too!  
  
With that the two took to scalping off all of Pegasus's hair and stealing his clothes. When that was done they loaded everything into the canoe and paddled off.  
  
Fretswa: Wow we got a suit and hair, we'll have to do this sort of thing more often!  
  
And so the two paddled off into the horizon.  
  
`  
  
[Later back in Domino]  
  
Everyone had made their way back to Yuugi's house and were sitting around the computer with him.  
  
Yuugi: Yay my bid won, now I get the Pegasus hair!  
  
Anzu: But why would you want Pegasus's hair?  
  
Yuugi: Well I think that it makes a good memento of my grandpa.  
  
Yuugi's grandpa *from downstairs: I tell you this everyday Yuugi, I'm not dead yet!  
  
Yuugi: Stupid talking corpse.  
  
=(  
  
THE END  
  
For those of you who couldn't tell, the canoe riding French trapper idea came from an episode of The Kids in the Hall. Bonus points to those of you who figured this out already and loved that show. 


End file.
